So, did you do your homework? It’s not for my benefit – it’s for YOURS. The exercise of looking in the mirror and telling yourself that you love you is because ……………
YOU ARE LOOKING AT THE PERSON RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR HEALTH AND HAPPINESS. (from Wainui Working Stress Management)
Here is the reason for this vital step of ACCEPTANCE:-
THE MAN IN THE GLASS
When you get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world makes you king for a day,
Just go to a mirror and look at yourself,
And see what THAT man has to say.
For it isn’t your father or mother or wife
Who judgement upon you must pass;
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the one staring back from the glass.
Some people may think you a straight-shootin’ chum
And call you a wonderful guy,
But the man in the glass says you’re only a bum
If you can’t look him straight in the eye.
He’s the fellow to please, never mind all the rest
For he’s with you clear up to the end,
And you’ve passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the man in the glass is your friend.
You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years
And get pats on the back as you pass,
But in your final reward will be heartaches and tears
If you’ve cheated the man in the glass.
That piece was handed in by a class member, we eventually found that it was included in the Rosicrucian material – and it was allegedly written by a man on death row! He especially, would have the need for that acceptance of himself before his transition.
(2005 update. I recently received an email from Charles Foley about the above verse. It was written by Dale Wimbrow, 1895-1954. Further detail about the author and the poem can be found on www.theguyintheglass.com
Thanks for the prompt, Charles.) ..
Let’s look at it another way…………….
THE MAN IN THE CAVE. David Tamsitt.
I knew a man who lived in a cave
And he cursed the darkness and he’d rant and rave
And he’d blame the emptiness for all of his trouble
And he’d stomp around and kick up the rubble.
With each of the boulders he chose to kick
The pain in his toes would come back so quick
So he blamed the boulders for causing his pain
And kicked them much harder and then cursed the pain.
He’d shout at the cave and pull out his hair
The cave didn’t mind – the cave didn’t care,
And he hated the fact that none were inclined
To visit his cave for a piece of his mind.
And then one night in desperation
He turned to the cave for inspiration
“Help me! Help me! Help me I beg”
And the cave spoke to him and lovingly said,
“All of your problems are caused by your fears”
The man said “I know” and spoke through his tears
And with that admission, he suddenly felt
That the cave he was in, was really himself.
Last week we ended the lesson by saying ‘this is your body – but it is NOT YOU. The REAL you is SPIRIT, inhabiting the physical body.
Within the physical body are three other bodies:-
The Etheric Body.
The Emotional Body..
The Mental Body.
The whole being encased in an invisible energy bubble.
I demonstrate this by using a small crystal, which represents us; the Being of Light – which needs to come through various planes in its descent into matter. Using a set of Russian dolls, I place the crystal in the smallest one and explain that for each plane that we pass through in this process we have to also don ‘a body’, made up of the same qualities of that plane.
The first plane is the Mental Plane, requiring a Mental Body (the first doll). The second plane is the Emotional Plane, requiring an Emotional Body (fitting the next size doll around the first one). Next plane is the Etheric Plane – the perfect version of this one, and the Etheric Body is the next size doll added. Finally reaching the Physical Plane and acquiring the physical body (fitting the bigger doll to the set). The physical body also contains the same elements as the earth, in like ratio – we would not be able to exist here if that was not the case.
I then put this collection of dolls – now made one – into a jar which is lined with patterned cellophane; those patterns being symbolic of our individual Cosmic ‘fingerprint’ - everyone’s pattern being different (as the snowflake shows us!) The jar represents our energy bubble. Then as I place the lid on top I explain that ONE HOUR after we are born, the bubble is sealed, we are locked into place, and all memory of WHO we are, and WHY we are here, is erased. This is a necessary process for we need to experience being HUMAN for a while – and all that is entailed. In that first hour WE KNOW IT ALL, and are perfectly aware – of our mission; of the emotions of the various people in the room, and how they feel about our arrival. We know we come from Pure Love, and we accept that it will always burn within us during our
visit here, but we know that it is necessary to also experience the negative energy of this planet and FIND that Love again one day. Our whole life will be geared to that very event.
Each of the bodies – including your physical one – take seven years each to come into maturity. So, as far as Spirit is concerned, there is no such thing as an early baby or a late one! That baby comes EXACTLY when it is supposed to, and it will be seven years to the day from when it entered the 12th dimension of this Earth. Being in the Earth’s environs it is now subject to TIME (when in Rome do as the Roman’s do!). The seven year period is an orientation time, learning about the people that this Spirit will be interacting with and the reason for its mission.
A late baby isn’t too bad – most of the stress is on Mum. But a premature baby is a different story. They often come with huge hurdles to overcome, right from the start; body and mental weaknesses. BUT THAT IS PERFECT – for the task in hand. Straight away that baby is affecting everyone around it; and how they deal with this is part of THEIR learning too. It makes or breaks.
You may remember the case of Anthony Nolan, a little boy who needed a bone marrow transplant in order to save his life. Because of the huge stress and sadness involved, I believe his parents separated. But his mother and grandmother united to form a dedicated, strong team – searching for that life-saving donor with the perfect match.. They never found it, and Anthony died when he was eight years old.
Was that a WASTED life? Absolutely not. In those eight years his mother and grandmother found a strength that they probably never knew they had. And in the process his mother put together a list of thousands of names of potential donors – who saved thousands of other children. I believe that was Anthony’s task
So a child who is not born ‘normal’ is not a punishment from God. That child is PERFECT, right from the start. The parents provided the perfect set of genes. This brings us now to stillborn children, and those who die in infanthood; apparently there is a special ‘set’ of planes that can ONLY be accessed by travelling through the earth environ. Those two parents are chosen to be the ones to enable that spirit to access those planes, QUICKLY, without the need for a long earth life. Heartbreaking though it is to lose a baby, you have done them a great service. And they you – for the way you deal with this can also aid your progress. Grieve, then move on – and help others in like circumstance, to overcome, that way the experience will not have been in vain. NOTHING happens randomly – it is not a case of the baby
‘changing it’s mind’ about coming here. You parents were the portal.
Abortion presents the same picture; we have free will – which God will not interfere with. How you deal with your decision to keep or abort is the free will part – which influences your future. Did love for the child motivate your decision? Good! Then abide by it, and know that you have not been judged. YOU WERE THE MEANS.
The environment that the child is born into is perfect. Yes, I know how you feel at that statement – MY initial reaction was, “No WAY would I have chosen my father!” – but I have learned, in my spiritual progress, just how perfect the whole situation was, and we will explore this as we work through the lessons.
And don’t worry about your baby’s arrival here having been interfered with by a doctor wanting to induce ‘to fit his schedule’. There is only ONE schedule – God’s! Who do you think prompted the doctor to do that???? Your baby’s birth happened PRECISELY when it was supposed to.
The second seven year cycle occurs from the moment of birth till age 7, during which time the Etheric body comes into maturity. Because we will eventually have to learn to refine the qualities of each of the bodies, we are, at first, affected by the negative qualities. An example of this is how children have clairvoyance, the same as mediums – which is the ability to hear or see into the astral plane. This is a perfectly natural ability which is frequently misunderstood by parents, and usually discouraged. The child is not imagining these invisible friends! It is seeing what is actually being created in its own energy field by the child’s own feelings – AND by the feelings of the parents!
Our children are little mirrors of ourselves, they pick up on all the invisible emotions around them. So if you two are not getting on very well, and even though you (hopefully) do not display it in front of the child, nevertheless, they can sense it. And their little body DISPLAYS it too! Children who have ear problems – what is it that they don’t want to hear going on around them? Children with asthma – what is making them feel smothered? Children with behaviour problems – who are they imitating? If you want a healthy, happy child – make sure that they are given the right environment. We have a great responsibility there, when they display negative traits – LOOK TO YOURSELF!
The third seven year cycle occurs between age 7 to 14, in which time the Emotional Body matures – this affects the emotions of the child causing fleeting periods of tantrums, which they gradually learn to control. They are also learning to come away from having a short span of attention, to being able to concentrate for longer and longer periods.
The fourth seven year cycle is the most difficult – the forming of the Mental Body, during which time the desire nature is boisterous and uncontrolled, and children are extremely sensitive to it. (for broader information on this read ‘Cutting the Ties that Bind’ – Phyllis Krystal). It is a difficult time for everyone, but made easier if the parent understands what is going on, and tolerance and understanding of the process taking place is necessary. So your teenager is not just going through hormone changes in those teenage years – it is something much more profound.
A little family came to our classes together; Mum and her 16 year old daughter, and Mum’s new partner. They were having trouble with the daughter; first of all she was trying to get over the divorce from her father, and now this new man in Mum’s life. She had also got in with a wild crowd at school. Consequently her grades were going down and down, and there was much friction at home. When I read the preceding paragraph she turned to her Mother and said, “See! You have to be more tolerant of me.” I said, “I quite agree – but I haven’t finished yet. The lesson goes on to say…….
So while all the positive forces are taking over in those 21 years, parents are the main source of teaching and example for the kids to follow. So, although they have to understand YOUR process, YOU also have to accept their role in your life – and, until you turn 21 – THEY have the final say. Sorry.” (but I softened it with a smile and a laugh, tee-hee) So, as Phyllis explains, IT IS WITH THE PARENTS THAT THE RESPONSIBILITY LIES; THE PARENT IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE FIRST 21 YEARS OF THEIR CHILD’S LIFE. They must be prepared to be guides, counsellors and friends of their children till they reach the age of 21, at which time their mental bodies are in the condition to take over – NO MATTER HOW MATURE OR IMMATURE THAT PERSON APPEARS TO BE. Then, in order that the child may become a self-confident adult, ALL PARENTAL CONTROL
MUST CEASE. Thereafter a parent should only proffer advice WHEN ASKED FOR. To keep an adult attached to parents’ ‘apron strings’ is damaging to both child and parent, and stops growth for them both.
Now it’s very handy to know about this invisible line that we must draw at age 21, for HUMANLY it is a very difficult line to gauge! Where do you say, “Last week she was a girl – now she’s a woman.” Or “Last month he was a boy – now he’s a man.”? When we are 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80 – there are still times when we act like kids! But knowing now about that invisible line makes the whole process a lot easier. KNOW that at age 21 your child is SPIRITUALLY mature enough to stand on their own two feet – and now ‘let the games begin’, so to speak.. No matter what type of childhood – happy, or AWFUL; those circumstances were shaping and moulding that person to be PERFECTLY EQUIPPED for their Spiritual tasks now. Every strength, every weakness – PERFECT for the task in hand. The strengths are to
be capitalised on – the weaknesses to be overcome, and in that overcoming, yet more strengths are achieved.
There are two types of 21 year olds; the ones who moved out of home years before (but still you must keep tabs on what they are doing, who they are with, and stepping in if there is a necessity – whether they appreciate it or not! It’s your DUTY. Then there is the one that is still at home, has no partner, no plans for the future, no desire to ‘leave the nest’. You can worry about BOTH of them! But you don’t need to; there are just two simple rules 1. Under 21, when things get too hard – put them in the Light and do the best you can, at least you will have fulfilled YOUR end of the bargain. 2. Over 21 – put them in the Light – and STAND BACK. Let your kids know that you are there for them if ever they need advice or assistance, but then, when the challenging
times come, RESIST the temptation to hoe in there and sort it all out for them.. LET THEM DO THE SORTING OUT – it’s how they LEARN.
You will be surprised at how you will then be able to let go. You need to let go, to get on with your OWN tasks now.
Once age 21 is reached the ego is ready and eager to stand alone, and must be allowed to do so. He WILL make mistakes, we have ALL done so, it is one of the most important ways in which we learn our lessons.
Now, this works the other way too! So many people come through our classes who, in their 30’s, 40’s, 50’s and even 60’s – have a parent, or parents, who still hold them in an iron fist. They have never enjoyed that freedom of age 21. AND THEIR PARENTS HAVE NOT ENJOYED THAT FREEDOM EITHER – and now they may really WANT it, and don’t know how. So we show our people HOW to release their parents; this time the shoe is on the other foot! The parents might not appreciate it for quite some time - until they realise that they can, at last, stop worrying about their children; that they CAN survive without Mum and Dad’s ‘good advice’.
We had a classic example of this in our classes; Mum came first, on her own, and every week we heard these tales of how worn out she was looking after all her grandchildren for her three daughters. How she wanted freedom to do her own thing – but they were always calling on her, and she never had any free time. “IM EXHAUSTED”. Every week she got sympathetic murmurs from the rest of the class.
The following session one of the daughters joined (and the other two eventually followed), complaining how her mother just would not let her go. “I try to get independent baby-sitters for the kids when I go out, but if Mum hears of it – look out! SHE wants to look after them, but is a real martyr into the bargain. I don’t WANT her to have a hold on me like that.”
They, all four ladies, learned how to let each other go – and their relationships have improved out of sight. For the most wonderful thing happens when you practice this; the roles change from parents and children – to equals and friends. And you visit each other because you WANT to, not because you HAVE TO. That’s a nice state to get into.
The following two verses illustrate beautifully the roles of parents and children:-
Your children are not your children
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.
(from ‘The Prophet.’ Kahlil Gibran.)